I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
