I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
