so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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