hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
