So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
COCAINE IS GR8
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
