why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
