honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
