well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
