Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
