you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
