He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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