Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just gift wrapped bread.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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