Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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