She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
