handjob tips. give me some.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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