They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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