I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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