you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
