I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
