Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
