Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize