She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
