Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
