rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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