Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
