Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
