put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
