I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
