I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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