and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
being pregnant is like rehab
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
