Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
