I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
