is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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