so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
