Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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