Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
