I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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