You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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