my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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