There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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