I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize