I am puke
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
