now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
