Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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