I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Help me help you realize you are a moron
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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