Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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