he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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