she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
