Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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