I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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