so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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