why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
