I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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