you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
