I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
