How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You were trust falling into bushes
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
