I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize