so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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