I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
