I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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