Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
