Someone shit on the floor
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
