i need an iv and a liver transplant
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
