i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
