My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
