he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
