My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Randomize
