She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
