i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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