Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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