at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I didn't shave. On purpose
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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