"it" just moved
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
