Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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